My advice for fighting dogs and the similarities they share with us/me.

Have you ever had a week that was poisoned so badly by one experience that it began to consume your mind and control your thoughts? To say that this was a horrible week would be a lie, as being with my family at Christmas was a saving grace, however, this has not been a week that I have enjoyed or would ever want to experience again. My over-thinking brain has made a clear link with the lowest moment of my week with the idea of Dog Fights. Don't ask me why...just go with it lol.

'Why do dogs fight?'

I typed this question into Google to see what kind of serious answer I could find. I had thought about this question a few times lately (once when someone I cared about asked me) but also just in my passing thoughts and the only answer I could come up with was 'instinct' and 'it is what some are bred for'; but surely there was more to it than this. With pleasing results, about.com came up with multiple reasons, but one particularly, stood out to me:

'Two dogs may be the best of friends until something sets one dog off and instinct takes over. This situation is like a ticking time bomb. It may take only the slightest issue to set one of the dogs off.'

Dogs, just like humans, appear to hold grudges and struggle to forgive. How interesting. 

When I continued to scroll down the website I went down to the sub-heading of 'Preventing Dog Fights'. Here was the suggestion for the above scenario:

'Learning how to keep a dog fight from happening in the first place is one of the best things you can do for you and your dog. Understanding the signs of an oncoming dog fight as well as the potential triggers will help you prevent a fight. If you have two dogs in a household that are prone to fighting, it is best to keep them separated until you can work with the situation.'

Maybe this information is not new to anyone reading this blog and I guess it wasn't entirely new to myself either, however, the likeliness that this information was presenting to my current awful week was freaky to say the least. This week I have acted like an injured female dog, fresh out of a fight. I was hurt by another dog that I cared about a little while ago and as much as I wanted to simply get back in the yard with them, I couldn't let the anger go and would just end up fighting with that other dog again-injuring both of us in the process. To stop the fighting, the other dog asks me to retrain myself to forgive them before we attempt to play in the yard together again, but unfortunately this female dog realises the unlikeliness of this situation and decides to remain separated until the wounds have healed.

Being separated from your best friend is no easy task. I had begun to rely on the companionship, his opinion, his 'safety' and simply, HIM. I wish I was like the female dog who felt comfort in the separation with their owners love, but I am left solely with an emptiness of a space that I can't fill or stop thinking about. I know that this is best for our relationship. 

I know that how I was, prevented us from being what we could be.

I just wish my wounds would heal quickly again, so that no more 'regret' will be had now or in the future.

 

 So I have been chained up away from my mate to let my wounds heal. 

Positive over thinking thought: I need to learn not to allow my wounds control my life. I need to allow myself to heal enough that it isn't going to let me assume the worst of people and control my life. I need to learn to TRUST again.

I need to do this for myself. I need to do it alone, not because I don't care about him, but because I care about him and can't continue fighting him any longer in yard - like the dogs.

I am trapped in this scenario and the only thing I have left to deal with it, is my mind. How unfortunate lol. An over thinking drama teacher on holidays with nothing much else to do than be depressed about an unfortunate circumstance that is only going to be healed with time. How appropriate that this picture came up on my Pinterest.

The Doctor Who Christmas Episode fare-welling my beloved Matt Smith was able to distract me for a day, but as soon as the episode was over I was reminded that I can't text that person with my silly nonsense about the Doctor and his TARDIS and how heartbroken I was when the bowtie hit the floor and have him politely let me go on and on supportively over the phone (wow that went on a bit of a rant lol) but instead, I am imprisoned in my mind and locking up these stories to tell him again once I am healed, if by then he will still want me. And that...is my greatest fear. He may not, and I guess, I can understand why.

Positive over thinking conclusion: I am not giving up on him, and if you are reading this please know that I am not neglecting you or intentionally want to hurt you like others have. Although it is difficult to wait (well very much for me), it is worse to regret-and I cannot regret anything else when it comes to you. 

Are school holidays over yet? (Yes I will regret saying that at the end of the holidays) lol I need to focus this brain on something else already!

The Green Eyed Girl xox